I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
