I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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