I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
MIDGETS
????
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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