idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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