what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
