PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
