dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
