I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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