Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
