I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize