I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
