weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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