there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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