You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
