Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize