we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Life is so much better after having sex.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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