he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
