I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
