We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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