i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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