thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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