He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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