Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
how does that bad decision feel?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
