did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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