So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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