I'm lost and stupid without you.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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