I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
