weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
