I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
