Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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