Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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