To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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