My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
