Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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