This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think i have two assholes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
