If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
