ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
