You're so nebulous sometimes
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
