Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
