no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
