did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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