Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
