I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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