we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
