ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
