Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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