I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wish my penis had a tongue
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
