You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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