This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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