Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize