He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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