All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish i was in the wii world.
zippers are such a cool invention
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
