Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
