Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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