"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
