LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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