this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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