He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
