why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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