I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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