his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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