she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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