I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Couch. On fire.
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