what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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