3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Too much gin, very little bucket
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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