So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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