is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
