matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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